“father” is a word, a relationship, that is earned,
not given. and just as it can be given at the moment
the sperm enters the egg, it can be taken away if that parent
begins to show signs of being temporary – not earning
the title of “father.”
There’s a massive difference between a parent who is there,
for all the heartbreaks and teenage problems, the
meeting of a new boyfriend or the start of a new job.
events that may seem small, but build into a life that not
every parent earns the right to be a part of.
If showing up to the graduation and the wedding, or
attending family holiday’s together is your definition of
parent – then you are in no way deserving of that title.
I’ve seen my fair share of amazing parents, my mother
being one of them, but unfortunately I’ve also experienced
the hurt and guilt that comes with the loss of a relationship
due to a necessary divorce.
In my lifetime, my father came and went – but most
memories are clouded by the times he left – and, while not once
did I have to question whether or not a step parent, a coach,
or other male figure in my life would be there for me, I constantly
questioned whether or not I could trust my biological father to
pick me up from CCD at age six or off the side of the road when I’d
broken down at age nineteen.
I look around, in a constant search for the relationship a
daughter should have with her father, but I’m always left
empty-handed. And at the end of the day, when asked who’s fault it is,
I firmly say it was his, because I’m smart enough to realize that he’s
content being a temporary father – and I have no interest in coddling
the ego of a man who thinks he deserves even that title in my life.